By Maria Lebron, March 2020
The true psychological impact from Covid-19 won’t be known for many months or years after the pandemic ends. What we know now is that this crisis causes people to experience fear, anxiety, and depression. Covid-19 has made us worried not only for our health, but the health of our family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, and everyone else we come in contact with. Since we don’t know who’s infected, we need to practice social distancing as much as possible because we can unintentionally be putting ourselves and others at risk.
Coping with the Covid-19 Crisis
During this crisis, some people will need to avoid and distract themselves from it as much as possible, while others may feel a need to immerse themselves in it by watching and reading all they can about Covid-19. Some will oscillate between these two approaches. These are all coping mechanisms people use in order to deal with something which is overwhelming and out of their control. Some days you may want to watch the news all day and other times you will want to binge on Netflix all day.
If you weren’t feeling unsettled at times by this crisis, it would be an indication that you’re not fully dealing with the reality of what is happening right now. What would be really problematic is avoiding the severity of the crisis altogether or immersing yourself in it to the point where you can’t function. We need to be aware of the facts in order to understand what we need to do to protect ourselves and others.
This Crisis is Not the “New Normal”
There seems to be a push at times on social media telling people to stay occupied, keep their routines, and keep positive and enjoy this time to themselves. While it is important to stay hopeful and keep doing the things which bring us enjoyment, it is not realistic to consider this time “the new normal.” Nothing about this is normal. The Covid-19 crisis will force us to be apart during the sicknesses and deaths, and it will also keep us apart during joyful times. Babies will be born without family members present. Weddings, graduations, birthdays, baptisms, bar and bat mitzvahs and other celebrations will either be canceled or postponed.
While you cannot have your “normal” life during this crisis, you can try to adjust as much as you can. If you are lucky enough to be working from home, you can decide how to set that up so you can be the most productive. Some parents who are both working from home are splitting the day up so that they can each have their own time and space and alternatively care for the kids. If you are lucky enough to have some safe space to be outdoors, that can help you feel less confined. If not, you may be able to find some outlet to feel healthy by doing exercise, yoga, or meditations at home. Try to stay connected to your social circle as much as possible, whether online, phone, text, message, email, etc. Try to find new ways to connect by researching groups online which are offering ways to connect with others.
Don’t be too hard on yourself if you find it difficult at times to work, read, write, workout, etc. Try to stick to the things you need to do every day, but don’t be surprised if things change. You may have good intentions of getting a full day’s work in and then hear some news which makes you feel completely overwhelmed. The important thing is to be able to sit with that worry and anxiety enough so that you can feel the feelings and process them. That will hopefully give you the opportunity to move past it. Try to take care of yourself during this time. Talk to family or friends about what you’re feeling. Do something that can help calm and ground you, such as art, meditation, yoga, etc.
The Additional Stressors of Confinement
Be aware that the confinement and restricted movement can create some conflict and additional stressors. Families with children will need to find ways to keep children learning, motivated, and busy when movement and contact is limited. The younger the child, the more difficult for them to understand why they can’t go visit family, grandparents, or play with other children. Confinement and limited mobility can cause additional tension, especially when the adults have problems which were present before the crisis. We also need to keep in mind that for some people, shelter at home orders put them at risk when their homes are filled with abuse, violence, or disfunction.
For people who have struggled with feelings of isolation prior to this crisis, it will be even more important now to push yourself to keep as much of a connection as possible, whether with family, friends, or the outside world. Many organizations have admirably adjusted to this crisis by offering virtual connections, many of them for free. Many religious services, museums, Broadway shows, libraries, gyms, yoga studios, etc. have gone online and given their members a way to stay connected. People have created Zoom lunches, meetings, parties, or check ins as a way to stay connected to each other and the community while isolated.
On top of the concerns regarding health, we are all worrying about the financial fallout from Covid-19. In the need to socially isolate and stop the spread of the virus, businesses are closing or cutting back. In one week, millions of people found themselves out of a job. This situation is especially stressful when 80% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck and don’t have adequate savings to deal with a situation where they can’t look for other employment. We need to know that our government is doing everything they can to protect us, especially those Americans who are among the most vulnerable groups.
There is No Baseline Right Now
Accept the fact that there is no baseline right now to compare to. You cannot expect to function the same way you did before the crisis. You cannot expect your days to become routine when you’re standing on shifting sand. Every day will be different and every day you may feel differently. Maybe during this crisis the new baseline is that you stay healthy, in good mental health, and stay connected as much as possible. If you find that it’s becoming increasingly difficult to deal with your feelings during this crisis, look for help from a therapist online. Many therapists are offering low cost online treatment during this crisis.
What Can We Learn From This Experience
I know we will get through this, and we will come out of this stronger. I also believe that we can learn from this crisis. We have already learned that even though we are apart, we are part of a community and have a responsibility to that community. We have learned that our actions impact others and that one person can have a huge impact.
When this crisis is over, we will appreciate our lives more, we will make necessary changes to better our lives, we will appreciate those around us more, and we will seek new relationships and connections. As a therapist, I know that opportunities come from hardships and challenges. I also acknowledge that for some, that journey may be more conflicted or unclear than for others and create more of a hardship. But know that one day, this crisis will be over and we will get through it. When this pandemic ends, it will not only be a time for us to take stock of our lives, but it will be an opportunity to address the deficiencies in our government, healthcare system, and safety nets which this virus has exposed.
When we’re all safe, my daughter and I will celebrate our birthdays as we usually do, even if it’s months later. When I see her again, I’ll hug her and not let go for a very, very long time. Think about whatever that thing is that you want to do when this crisis is over. Hold onto that…it will become a reality when we’re all safe.
Please stay connected and seek help when you need it. Stay safe!
